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The Real Dog Adventure:

Girl it's time you read between the lines
The world is blowing up before your eyes
Hilarious and totally true
So the kid has got a double life
A sensually seductive secretive spy
He's cheating on you

Your husband is a whore, he's a wacky kind of guy
He played you like a fool and every word was just a lie
He's horribly horrendous, you wish that he would die
No matter how he wants things back, you already said goodbye

He's a slut, you gotta recognize
When he talks to you he doesn't look you in the eyes
He gets horny when he thinks of horny toads
And he's little, and by little he means smaller
and by smaller he means penis size!
Just break up with him and he'll go get a dog

He wouldn't give you money to help you with his kid
He doesn't seem remorseful, girl, for all the things he did
He treated you so horrible and now he always calls
I don't know where the sperm came from, he clearly has no balls
Girl, I think you deserve someone that doesn't have sex with animals!